ASSERTIVENESS
Do you rarely care what people think as long as you can do what you like? Or do you often say things like,
“It doesn’t matter?
And
“Only if you don’t mind,”
Or
“I’m sorry but…”
If so, like many of us, you probably need to work on your assertiveness.
Assertiveness means expressing your point of view in a way that is clear and direct, while still respecting others. Communicating in an assertive manner can help you to minimise conflict, to control anger, to have your needs better met, and to have more positive relationships with friends, family and others.
Assertiveness is a style of communication which many people struggle to put into practice, often because of confusion around exactly what it means. Sometimes it helps to start by explaining what assertiveness is not:
Aggressive Communication
People often confuse assertiveness with aggression, because it involves sticking up for yourself. But the two are actually quite different:
Your assertiveness does not guarantee others will not be aggressive – but at least you will feel good knowing that you did your best and used assertive communication.
Passive Communication
Another thing that assertiveness is not is passive communication.
Passive communication can be damaging to your self-esteem, and also to relationships. If you use a passive communication style, others are more likely to ignore your needs, which may leave you feeling hurt or even angry with them for not treating you better.
So Assertiveness is….
Think of assertiveness as the halfway point between passive and aggressive – just the right balance!